MARY
I'm going to be honest, being a mother
so soon was not in my plans, let alone being a mother in that way...because I
would most likely be a single mother with all that implies. At times I felt
ashamed... yes, it seems strange... but I was ashamed to wear the word made
flesh (maybe you have felt the same way when you have said that you are a
follower of my son).
It was all very particular, as much as
it may seem now, the Angel was more of a scare than a joy... the scare he gave
me... Buf! I was convinced that it was too big for me, and at some point I was
thinking NO, and even after all that I thought it must have been something in
my imagination. Living together as a family was so normal... that at some point
I thought that it had been a dream, that nothing was real.
The first years were very hard, we moved
several times... and well, what can I tell you about the hardness of the end...
But if I am completely honest and taking stock... IT WAS WORTH IT, or as my son used to say, I was very FORTUNATE.
When I analyse
nowadays I have to say that sometimes I wrinkle my brow a little saying...
but... what do they think they are doing? My son, yes, he was God, but I was a
normal person, a day-to-day person, going to the market, talking to my
neighbours, helping my family at home...
I had the problems and the life of
someone like you. It is true that I gave a YES that was not easy, but I am sure
that you also have similar moments... hold on to them, to those difficult
moments in which your answer was a YES. Don't be afraid... surrender and above
all be faithful to your heart, fear is the tool to grow, any decision taken
that does not involve a risk, in which we are not afraid... are usually easy
and empty choices.
It is scary to go against the current,
to go for the message, to become a Brother, to ask yourself what God is asking of me, to believe
that God expects a lot from me because the one to whom God gave the talents has
the obligation and the responsibility to put them at the service of God. I am
Mary and I said yes even though I was afraid and unsure... and who are you?
How do you overcome your difficulties in discerning
your vocation?